for I know whom I’ve believed in…

I remember a song from when I was younger that always makes me think of a former pastor of mine. He could deliver a message that made you incapable of doing anything but paying attention, he was a great shepherd, but, man, oh man, could he sing. I don’t remember much of the song except the chorus, and it went a little something like this:

[But I know whom I have believed/and am persuaded that He is able/to keep that which I’ve committed/unto Him against that day]

I love songs and hymns that come straight from scripture. (If you do too, check out Shane and Shane.) The verse this song is based on is in Paul’s second epistle, or letter, to Timothy. This letter was an urging to Timothy to be strong in the Lord and in his faith.

2 Timothy 1:12 in the Amplified says this, “…for I know (perceive, have knowledge of, and am acquainted with) Him Whom I have believed (adhered to and trusted in and relied on), and I am [positively] persuaded that He is able to guard and keep that which has been entrusted to me and which I have committed [to Him]…”

Oh, to know that the One we believe in not only has knowledge of us, but we know Him, too. He doesn’t keep Himself hidden away but makes Himself available to us at the mere mention of His name.  And, to know that He has entrusted us with things is beyond my realm of imagination. The One who holds the universe in place trusts us with things. Big things. Important things.  Things like children.

You hear stories of children coming to their parents on the coattails of a promise from God. Maybe they had infertility issues and were restored; maybe they had other medical problems that prohibited conception, and they overcame them; maybe they simply had tried and tried to conceive to no avail with seemingly no extenuating issues present but then conceived. Eli wasn’t that way. It wasn’t a long, arduous process for me. We decided we were ready (ha!), and not even two weeks later, I was pregnant.

You hear stories of children born not breathing or with organ deficiencies. Maybe their heart didn’t pump enough blood and, then it started working; maybe their lungs weren’t quite developed because they were part of multiples or they were born early and, everything started working fine. Eli wasn’t that way. The biggest issue he had during birth was that his head was 13″ around, and he got kinda stuck. Yikes. 🙂

Fast forward to December 2013: we had moved back to Florence from Columbia, moved into an apartment in town, and things seemed to be okay. Except, Eli wasn’t talking a lot anymore. Mid-February, the apartment under the one we were in burned and our things only suffered smoke damage. But, the insurance company relocated us to a hotel for 5 weeks, and I’m not sure if you’ve ever lived in a hotel for 5 weeks, but it’s not fun. Add in a 20-month-old little boy who loves to run around and play but doesn’t understand why he can’t, and it’s REALLY not fun. It became clear then that the speech regression was here to stay.

This is where this all ties back in to the beginning. I promise…stick around. It gets good. 🙂

Several months ago, an evangelist by the name of Anthony Cole came to the Lake City PH Church where I grew up. He is an amazing teacher and preacher, but he operates heavily in the anointing of healing. Being raised Pentecostal, healing services were not foreign to me. Sadly, they had become normal to me, until that morning. He asked for anyone that would like prayer to come forward, and I went forward for my baby. Pastor Anthony prayed for me in Eli’s stead, and I felt at that moment that my baby would be whole and well.

After a couple months, I didn’t get disappointed, but I began wondering when God would bring to pass this promise He had given me. Then, Sunday morning, Pastor Brad delivered a message out of Jeremiah 29; a very familiar passage of scripture, especially the eleventh verse. He spoke of assignments and appointments and how we often let the enemy push us until we push back and move from the spot God assigned us to and then we miss our appointment. My appointment was the last two days.

Eli’s first day of day care was today at 2 1/2 years old. You can imagine how scared this little mama was when I sat and dwelled last night on the fact that I was leaving him with people I didn’t know, and he couldn’t come home and tell me about any of it. Then, as we were having a normal struggle about Eli not eating any supper last night, we had the following “conversation”.

Me: Eli, until you can tell Mama what you want for supper, you’ll just have to eat what Mama gives you. I can’t go through the entire refrigerator asking you if that’s what you want.
Eli: *blank stare* interpreted (by me): Mama…you’re killin’ me.
Me: Do you not want your chicken?
Eli: No.
Me: (completely taken aback) Then what do you want?
Eli: Cheese. (Pronounced sheeze, like sneeze. He’s so cute.)
Me: Grilled cheese?
Eli: *nodded his head*

This mama was BLOWN AWAY! I was so excited that we’d had communication, and I knew what he wanted!

God whispered so softly, “Daughter, THIS is the promise I gave to you.”

You see, putting my child in daycare because it is the best thing for him when it scared the living daylights out of me placed him in God’s hands. It gave Him my complete trust. My trust is solely on Him, my hope is completely in Him., and my baby…well, I’m looking forward to many more conversations with him soon.

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